Wednesday 6 January 2016

Where there is love, there is hope.

So I'm struggling to find how to write at the moment. There is a huge gap in our lives. The way I saw January panning out was trips between hospitals. I would have chemo and I would have Ally. Hospital 1, drugs in my arm. Hospital 2, drugs in my heart. You see Ally was a drug to me. She was motivation, positivity, love and so much more. Now she is gone I'm on a huge come down. I would say withdrawal but that would suggest that I'll be ok at the end.
What I can say with regards to hope is that there is some. I have two beautiful little boys and one large one to look after. I think if I lean right down, tilt my head and squint I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but wow it's hard to see.

My friend Lizzie can tell you a lot more. I've mentioned her before and she is the first person I thought of when it all started to get dark. She is the reason I started this blog and also the reason why I won't stop.

Please read.

Lizzie. Thank you xxxx

http://www.thesunwillcomeup.blogspot.co.uk/

8 comments:

LLM Calling said...

My prayers are continuing to surround you Heidi and your family and especially with Ally as she watches over you all from heaven. I know words are never enough but there all we have xx

LLM Calling said...

My prayers are continuing to surround you Heidi and your family and especially with Ally as she watches over you all from heaven. I know words are never enough but there all we have xx

Kate said...

So sorry for your loss and all you have had to go through. Sending all the positive thoughts and prayers to you and yours.

Unknown said...

I've been reading your blogs and my heart is heavy for your loss but its also praying and giving hope to you and your family. I wish you all the best. Your a strong and courageous lady. Xx

hilsbury said...

Heidi, you and your family are in my thoughts every day. Love Hils xxx

Bernadette said...

One step at a time girl, one step at a time! When you are finding it hard just remember your stalkers are right behind you, pushing your back with full force to make sure you take that step forward and the next and the next. We are pushing you up that hill and will continue to push until you reach the top, until you are ok with life and feel you can walk on your own again. Ok all together now, pushhhhhh!!!!

Syster Magi said...

You are in my thoughts! Be strong and win!
Hugs and a lot of love!

Kamilla Picon said...

Olá, espero que não te incomode uma mensagem em português! Acabei de ler sua história em um site popular do meu país, realmente me senti sensibilizada com sua história, principalmente com sua coragem em postergar o tratamento, fiquei impressionada pois agora mesmo me sentia mal com os problemas do meu país, que ultimamente se multiplicam e sinto que impactam o meu progresso e dos demais brasileiros como: Políticos, impostos, corrupção, burocracia, crise econômica, e alguns problemas pequenos pessoais. Enfim realmente você é corajosa e teve muita força até agora e tanta fé que me faz sentir obrigação de acreditar mais na vida. Obrigada por ser esse exemplo incrível!!

Eu realmente não sirvo para dar conselhos e acho que pela pouca experiência que eu tenho de vida, que eu talvez não tenha algum valioso para você, somente recomendo manter a sua coragem e otimismo, mesmo que durante o dia você tenha momentos de tristeza que são perfeitamente normais, olhe o lado bom de tudo, sempre, e sempre tem...

Tem um livro que eu gosto muito e recomendo, não sou religiosa, nem pense que se trata de um livro de assombração, talvez você já tenha ouvido falar em: O livro dos Espíritos de Allan Kardec. ÓTIMA LEITURA para a vida.
Mais uma vez muito obrigada! Melhorou meu dia! E muitos outros também, seus filhos são fofos demais...

Boa sorte em seu tratamento já conta com muitas energias positivas para seu tratamento e acredite nelas são reais quando você quer... Estou na torcida.